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WISHES(:

HOW I WISH...
contact lenses
shades
a new guitar
a harmonica
musical box
bikini??? (wahahah, next year)
a billabong cap, not visor
a white dress
an overseas CIP trip
an overseas trip to BALI with friends
see hong junyang performing in my school
good results
highlighted hair
death note!!!!!
more plush toys!
no more pollution!
drum set
improve my pool skills?
be a better bowler =p
Hates(:

smokers!!!! that's all at the moment..

{{ Saturday, October 13, 2007

i thought i was numb. immuned. whatever you say.
i wasn't.

just for that split moment.

my naso lachrymal is too wide. perhaps. the gland there was too sensitive. it got triggered. and it just flowed through. naturally. i tried holding back. but i lost to the impact of the stimulus.

don't tell me you too scored badly, and you aren't as sad as me.
everyone expresses their grief differently.
this is my typical way; a method beyond my control.

i got looked down.
i got mocked at.
moron.
i know.
it's reality.

the battle is against myself.
i believe i can do much better.
and i don't think i set unrealistic goals for myself.

hard work.

i want to be just like that self in my zuo wen.

darkangel jiayou.

yet again, i feel i'm losing the battle.
to my laziness...

i'm not sad.
i'm not asking for sympathy.

i'm just thinking.
if i will win the battle,
fought against the devil in me..

Labels:



{&illustrated world?-}
9:49 PM


{{ Friday, October 12, 2007

"perception is reality. let me see if i can find the universal remedy."

mr ang's msn nick. i didn't think much about this statement actually..until...

i went back to my alma matar again yesterday. mrs tan was discussing with felicia and tian jiao about the schools they were applying for the first 3 weeks. i know these 2 scholars of yy definitely would not consider my school, though i kept emphasing my school rocks. haha. so i asked them how about the others. kinda astonished to find that no one, absolutely no one in the cohort wants to go to my humble college, or for that matter, put my college as their first choice..

my cohort, classes of 2006, there was 4 in my class who went, and there were 4 more from the other class...

hoho. why. distance shouldn't be an issue. since we are all living near yy, and that means close to my college..

perception. we are perceived by the public. we are degraded. we are labeled as an ah beng's college? students play whole day, get into trouble. cannot excel in anything. high L1R5. don't wanna go poly, chose an academic pathway, and will eventually end up failing..

whenever outsiders see that we are studying, they will ask, "SR__cians, actually study? Unbelievable!"

what makes it even sadder is that teachers from neighbourhood schools, even my own, actually have this kind of mindset, except perhaps mr chia, my sec 2 geography teacher, who was an SR__cian. he stayed on despite getting a better L1R5 in his o's..

haha. perception. public's misconception. universal remedy? i do not think such a thing exist. all i can do, all we, as students of SR__can do, is to bring up the good name of our school, whenever we go..

for me, whenever i see juniors, my sister's friends, i will tell them how great and fantastic my school is.

my sister's friends; difficult to change their mindset. after all, cedar girls can be considered as an elitist school? they all aim to go to the top 5 jcs. or at least, 9 out of 10 of them..

my yy juniors; i don't know. felicia was so shocked when i professed my love for SR__..haha. she said her sister was there for first 3 mths and hate it there. hate? just 3 months leh. is my college that bad?

haha. my school. greatly inspired during the leaders' seminar today. i think my principal is fantastic. role model. i think i'm beginning to idolize him. haha. i have taken the necessary precautions - he won't locate my blog.

my humble college. we shall be a college of difference. medicore grades, but leaders with character. give us a few years time, SR__ will shine.

right now, i got to put in more effort in my studies and guitar man. this is the first time i feel that i should study, not only because of personal acheivements, but also because of my college. more effort in my guitar, i hope my ensemble can attain my dream. the thing most crucial is first to bond all of us as one people.

SR__ jiayou!

Labels:



{&illustrated world?-}
2:45 PM


{{ Thursday, October 11, 2007

bring up the good name.

i have tried.

the most lousiest feeling i would ever feel.

up to this day, whenever i see the ministers, on newspapers even, i got malufied?

that day, went for the bursuary, saw this teacher. remembered him attending the seminar due to his botak head. was reminded of everything again.

i guess this stigma will follow me forever.

i have disgraced my college.

Labels:



{&illustrated world?-}
11:44 PM


{{ Monday, October 08, 2007

the nerd! hoho!























where am i!














we risked our lives to get a close-up shot. although, eh, still not very close up..















see.. the ang moh in front is the one we have helped. read on.





whoa. haven't been coming online for the past few days. even if i'm online, i'm gaming away. hehe. i thought my audition has sure deproved, who knows i have actually improved! hehe. i'm more apt at faster songs now. yipeee...

6th october 2007 saturday - elaine's celebration
well, elaine's birthday celebration on sat was FUN! hehe. very sorry to bunny. in the end she went to meet her friends. and stupid me...i thought that marina bay and marina square was nearby. Mr Gek drove over to marina bay and then drove to marina square to find us in the end! hehe. so dinner was finally decided to be at seoul garden. moi's first time there. hehe. the food there was okay la..not as nice as i had expected. the best buffet dinner still goes to pariss seafood restaurant! BEST!

i wore the white pair of shoes which i have bought on friday out. i know that pair of shoes will hurt my foot, that's why mum has already put plasters on my foot. but...haha. my foot were still scraped. it's damn painful and there was even blood stains left on the shoes. my blood leh. nonetheless, i will still wear them when i go out. just got to put more plasters. i love that pair of shoes =)

well, so with the back of my feet scraped, i was the slowest while walking round the mall. i held on t0 my pals hence, hand tucked into hand and walked. laughter along the way =DDDD i don't care how loud we are, i don't care what others think, i just wanna enjoy the times spent with them.. hehe.. oh yeah, actually wanted to go yuki yaki, but there were no seats available and they only called us when we had settled for seoul garden!

while going home, saw rachel and jolyn. hehe. whoa. i love that saturday =D

7th october 2007 sunday
went out with mum to yi ma's house before we went ikea together. hoho. bought lotsa things in ikea. but..still have not bought my laptop! it's like sometimes i regard it as a need but most of the time, it's a want. cannot even play audition on that laptop..do i really want it? hoho..


8th october 2007 - monday
the damn lame botanic gardens class bonding session organized by the pe department. haha. made me all drenched.

i reached where we were supposed to meet 15 minutes before the schduled time! first time lor. and yet so many others were late. in the end, the whole group of us was late.

oh yeah, while walking out, we saw this caucasian lady who has got no umbrella. so we asked joycelin to lend her her umbrealla. and she was so grateful to us. we said loudly, we are students of SR__. hehe. i feel proud man. we have helped our school leave a good impression. woo hoo.

well after that, we went pasta mania in ps. and guess what. while i was eating my pasta, the sauce got into my eye! i kept praising myself lor. how can anyone eat pasta that way? and my pasta is extra hot because i have added a lot of chilli sauce. eye was damn painful and there was a lot of tears. took my contacts out immediately, went toilet to wash. after that, as i see my eye getting better, went to one of the optical shop with yuan and asked for some saline solution. so stuff my contacts back into my eye again. and guess what, the pain persisted. no choice, took it out and xin yi helped me buy a box to put my contacts in. oh yeah, it was so troublesome just because i had forgotten to bring my specs and my contacts box. hehe. i walked home with one eye blind. fortunately did not fall down hehe.

book a time slot with me before my schdule is packed! hehe. if not have to wait until december holidays already man. sighs.. i want more time..

Labels:



{&illustrated world?-}
6:40 PM