HOW I WISH... contact lenses
shades
a new guitar
a harmonica
musical box
bikini??? (wahahah, next year)
a billabong cap, not visor
a white dress
an overseas CIP trip
an overseas trip to BALI with friends
see hong junyang performing in my school
good results
highlighted hair
death note!!!!!
more plush toys!
no more pollution!
drum set
improve my pool skills?
be a better bowler =p
Hates(:
smokers!!!! that's all at the moment..
{{ Wednesday, August 20, 2008
am i hardworking?
ha.
hardworking..
cannot do a sum.. stared blankly at the paper..
a nuisance i find myself, if i were to ask everything..
is this still considered hardworking? i can sit whole day, staring at the same stupid question, images of how i was going to cry my eyes out will flash by..
hardworking?
why am i blogging this? what am i justifying? my own stupidity?
if i were to moan at my stupidity day in and day out.. if i were to doubt again, will i really be able to make it?
stupidity. really?
one thing good leads to another.
i have forgotten the success i took for granted a long time ago. the kind of satisfaction that motivates you to push on even at near fatigue point..
all i do now is moan at my own stupidity. whining, so much so i am already a nuisance..
experiencing the struggle now. how much more to go? will there eventually be triumph?
if i did not work hard, i will forever not be meeting my potential... aren't i doing myself a great injustice?
but then again, it gets so demoralising, when u stumble and fall for each and every question.. stupid?
stupid?
chemistry.. when i was up and mighty... i love it so much... even had the thought of becoming a chemistry teacher if i were to be a teacher..
now..
congrats to the branch of science. you have successfully eroded my confidence.. even when i'm faced with a careless mistake, i would be so demotivated to try again. the sight of the paper just... irks me..
i have allowed myself to sink so deep, it is getting even harder to see light.. if i had rectified and tried to swim at first, perhaps i would be near the finishing point. perhaps.. why must you always look bad?
the thought of those people who looked up upon me after knowing my o levels, the thought of going back to alma matar on teachers' day and the teachers asking the same old question makes me feel.........
